Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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