I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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