I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Lo siento on account of my penis...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
