Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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