And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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