5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
