I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just pee around me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
