Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
