That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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