i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We are two peas in an std pod
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
