we have pet lesbian snakes
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
