your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
