you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
