i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Farmville is her only friend.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
