5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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