Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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