I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
