be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
