So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
