one might say we're banned from that church
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Randomize
