he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
