Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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