Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
