Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
