forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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