I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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