i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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