Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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