dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
