I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Randomize
