Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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