dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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