I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
