Screwed.edu
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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