We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We got so high we made milksteak
Everything about him screamed your future.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
