..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
