some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
