I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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