her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
