I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
