what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
