her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
