were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you never un-have a 4some
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
