So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
