what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
