You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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