if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
