Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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