I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
