Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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