I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
