Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
