how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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